Fish that just got one of those “grab the book nearest you and turn to page X” memes and is honestly baffled.
Who has a single book that is clearly the “nearest”? Do you measure from the center of your body mass? From your outer surface? If it’s not clear, are you supposed to get a measuring tape? What if you walk nearer a different book on your way to get the tape and back? Do you have to measure the distance to every book along that path to pick the right one? What happens when you reach out to measure, changing your outer surface’s proximity to the book? What if you go through all this effort to find that there is no page X? What if the book is only X-4 pages long? What if page X is blank? What if page X was torn out in a fit of frustration the last time you had to go through this exercise.
This fish thinks the Internet is too complicated and goes back to reading.
(and before you ask, the fish can read underwater because of the SCUBA* gear.)
*Self Contained Underwater Browsing Apparatus
Originally posted at stories.starmind.org.