Present Tense

So I sit here, stuck between thinking of the future and the past. It's odd how the present can be such familiar territory when you never actually spend much time there. I've been reading old LJs of friends and remembering what I was going through at the same times. Life is a circle, I guess. Wonder how one gets off the rim. Wonder if it's worth it. Is grass greener on the other end of the spoke?

(Wonder if people wind up on the rim due to inertia. Does it take work to be in the center? Am I getting distracted by physics again?)

Had the interesting experience today of feeling "OK, be mad at me. It's your choice to stay stuck in High School." And then I went on with my life. I've spent most of life my life caring a lot about what people thought of me and pretending not to. Strange how I can suddenly actually *not* care. Growing up or growing cold?

I'm preparing for my 40th birthday party. (Just turned 28 in reality, I just felt left out.) We'll see how things go. It's been a long time since I've hosted a party. I am hoping to find the time to make sushi for folks.

Anyway, moving through the house cleaning, thinking of times past and times not yet come, and taking time out to read and listen to nice music.

Wonder why the tureen was empty.