Coleridge and Cats

[guppiecat]

More from my Milwaukee Zoo set.

Some of you may remember when I posted a lion cub photo and a jaguar photo saying that they were "previews". Well, here we are, a little over a year from when I took them, and I'm actually posting them. So it goes.

Here's my favorite of the cats:


I'm still listening to the lecture series on English Romantic Poets, as I have confirmed on many cats that have lived with me, that they do not much appreciate poetry, today you get...



Big cats being overly-critical of Samuel Taylor Coleridge's 'On a Discovery Made Too Late'



Thou bleedest, my poor Heart! and thy distress

Jaguar (Panthera onca) - "Great, looks like another poem of pathetic desperation from a whiney emo kid."




Reasoning I ponder with a scornful smile

Lion (Panthera leo) - "And I ponder what the author was thinking."




And probe thy sore wound sternly, though the while

Cheetah (Acinonyx jubatus) - "Wounds should not be probed. Once you've wounded the prey, it should be caught. Once caught, killed. Probing the wound does nothing but allow the prey a chance to escape. It's a wonder the author managed to feed his family."




Swoln be mine eye and dim with heaviness.

Jaguar (Panthera onca) - "Coleridge lived from 1772 to 1834. Eyeglasses were made in Italy around 1286. There is no excuse."




Why didst thou listen to Hope's whisper bland?

Jaguar (Panthera onca) - "Really, I didn't."




Or, listening, why forget the healing tale,

Lion (Panthera leo) - "'cause it's, like, so hard to remember stuff"




When Jealousy with feverous fancies pale

Lion (Panthera leo) - "Like when I want mom's attention, but she's paying attention to my sister, right?"




Jarr'd thy fine fibres with a maniac's hand?

Lion (Panthera leo) - "Strings are made of fibers. I like strings!"




Faint was that Hope, and rayless!--Yet 'twas fair

Jaguar (Panthera onca) - "Can anything be truly fair? Is it fair to kill? Is it fair to kill to eat? Is it fair to kill to hope to eat? Perhaps, the author has more thinking to do.



And sooth'd with many a dream the hour of rest:

Lion (Panthera leo) - "Rest is important, unless it's poetry. Then you can often skip the rest and be just fine."




Thou should'st have lov'd it most, when most opprest,

Cheetah (Acinonyx jubatus) - "... So ... oppression is good now? Did I miss a memo?"



And nurs'd it with an agony of care,


Lion (Panthera leo) - "I just stopped nursing. Mother seemed to care. Agony may have been a factor."




Even as a mother her sweet infant heir

Lion (Panthera leo) - "Sweet infant my ass. These guys bite."



That wan and sickly droops upon her breast!

Cheetah (Acinonyx jubatus) - "That's it? It's over? Would have saved a lot of time with 'I'm all sad and stuff'. The author clearly needs a kitten."

Comments

[howl-at-the-sun.livejournal.com]

Poor Coleridge. The disdain of one cat is overwhelming; this is a whole menagerie of them.

[guppiecat]

Cats can be calm, careful, quiet and cuddly.

Cats are seldom kind.

Cats also did their research recognize that Coleridge put himself squarely into the perfection trap and would have been a lot happier as a person and more productive as an artist had he realized that "good enough" was often good enough. They might have held back a bit had Coleridge's own criticism of the work of his contemporaries been more measured.

[howl-at-the-sun.livejournal.com]

"May you be an object of disdain to cats" could be a curse, albeit a deeply commonplace one. I can see though, from your explanation, how Coleridge was asking for it.

[hitchhiker.livejournal.com]

everyone's a critic!

[guppiecat]

I'm pretty sure that gerbils accept all work regardless of merit.

[trishtrash.livejournal.com]

If I had a time machine, I would go back and give every major author a kitten just before they were due to begin their great work.

Also, I like string too.

[guppiecat]

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly nurring, suddenly there came a purring,
And a quiet burst of furring, furring on my office floor.
"'Tis some kitten," I muttered, "furring on my office floor -
A cuddle now, I would prefer."

END OF POEM.

[trishtrash.livejournal.com]

Have always liked that poem.

furring.

Like it better now.

[pauamma]

Have you considered crossposting/reposting this in note_from_cat?

[guppiecat]

No, but feel free to post a link there if you'd like.

[maiac.livejournal.com]

The cats' criticism is well deserved.

But I don't think Coleridge is quite the right poet for cats. Maybe they should try reading someone a little more cheerful, like Ogden Nash.

"I just stopped nursing. Mother seemed to care. Agony may have been a factor."

This made me laugh out loud.

[guppiecat]

I've tried many a form of literature on every cat I've lived with and none seem to appreciate it.

Well, except magazines and newspapers. Those are worth sitting on.

They're better than wombats, though. Wombats don't approve of anything.