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guppiecatIt is well known that (most) bees are hard workers. What you probably didn't know is that spending all day gathering pollen is quite boring work, even for fees. While I was taking photos for this set, I asked the bees what they do to stay interested in their work. Much to my surprise, I learned that they listen to audio books. In fact, they took advantage of the recent sale of Doctor Who CDs from Half Price Books.
(In case you're interested, this is what my setup looked like.)
And let me tell you, they have opinions.
Ghosts of India by Mark Morris gets a whopping five stars on Amazon... none of which are deserved. Though ostensibly about aliens invading India around the time of Britain's departure, this book can be better described as "Wikipedia presents Gandhi!" In audio form, it gains the additional feature of aliens speaking horribly racist parodies of Indian English for really no reason whatsoever.
Beautiful Chaos by Gary Russel wins 4.5 stars on Amazon, of which the half star is warranted, largely because Bernard Cribbins does a great job portraying Donna's father. This is less impressive than one might thing, as he also played the same role on the show. In this thoroughly unbelievable piece, psychic stars invade the planet and The Doctor is a total idiot about the whole thing.
The Story of Martha by Dan Abnett is the story of what happened during the year that Martha wandered the Earth during the alternate present in which The Master took over the world. If you saw that episode, you already know how it ends, so as interesting as it sounds to get the other half of the story, you have to realize that it really doesn't matter as the entire timeline is undone.
Martha in the Mirror by Justin Richards, in keeping with it's rating of four whole stars has four holes in the plot that you could route corridors though. Here's a hint. If you're going to write a story in which a mirror is the core plot point, it might be a good idea to learn a bit about optics.
Sting of the Zygons by Stephen Cole is another four-star story that is apparently really a thought experiment in which a novel is written by throwing one dart at a timeline of Earth, one at a globe and then playing several rousing games of Boggle. If you like Plesiosaurs and Loch Ness... you still won't like this story.
The Feast of the Drowned by Stephen Cole earns another four stars on Amazon while simultaneously demonstrating that if someone bad happens to someone that is related to someone that one of the main characters knows but you've never known from other stories is someone you really don't care much about.
Wooden Heart by Martin Day gets another (you guessed it) four stars from Amazon while showing that if you want to write a science fiction story and a fantasy story, manage to cock up both and blend them together with a kindergartener's tub of paste, it won't be coherent, but it'll be published.
Ring of Steel by Stephen Cole earns two stars from Amazon, so you know it's something. In fact, it's something about petroleum and, umm, steel. I think there were aliens. I dunno, I kinda zoned out and started reading email.
Wetworld by Mark Michalowski is about octopuses and otters that, for some reason, exist on an alien planet with settlers. Stuff happens. Then the story ends.
Nightmare of Black Island by Mike Tucker is another 4.5 star earner, lending support to the belief that Doctor Who fans, in fact, use the following rating system:
5 stars - Decent to Excellent
4 stars - Remarkably poor to semi-decent
3 stars - Contains The Doctor
2 stars - Takes place somewhere in Space and/or Time
1 star - Actually a Star Wars novel
The Gemini Contagion by Jason Arnopp answers the question "what would happen if a stereotypical Marvel scientist with poor lab technique is combined with an ethical scientist from the DC universe and is transplanted into the future and decides to focus on transmitting language capabilities via alien cloning. Then, to everyone's shock, things go sideways.
Actually, despite the fact that the story itself is remarkably poor, it is shockingly well performed by Meera Syal. Sadly, Wikipedia doesn't list any other audio books she's done... but then, it doesn't list this one either. This should be adjusted, but it takes a very long time for bees to type.
The Resurrection Casket by Justin Richards earns 4.5 stars on Amazon and... is under-rated. This book deserves five stars. It is considerably better than many of the actual episodes. The characters are fun, the story is complex, the twists are unexpected almost every time.
See, the fundamental issue with these stories is that The Doctor is just not very smart in most of them. The reader (or listener (or bee)) should not guess where the story is going and what the solution will be before The Doctor does. A good Doctor Who story is effectively a science fiction mystery, and so needs to be good at both. There have to be enough clues within it that everything makes sense once you get to the end, but not so many that you get to the end early. Of all the stories reviewed here, this is the only one that gets that right. When you, as well, add the wonderful characters and the great reading performance by David Tennant, you get a CD that is worth running out to Half Price Books to pick up.
Sadly, they're all out.
(In case you're interested, this is what my setup looked like.)
And let me tell you, they have opinions.
Ghosts of India by Mark Morris gets a whopping five stars on Amazon... none of which are deserved. Though ostensibly about aliens invading India around the time of Britain's departure, this book can be better described as "Wikipedia presents Gandhi!" In audio form, it gains the additional feature of aliens speaking horribly racist parodies of Indian English for really no reason whatsoever.
Beautiful Chaos by Gary Russel wins 4.5 stars on Amazon, of which the half star is warranted, largely because Bernard Cribbins does a great job portraying Donna's father. This is less impressive than one might thing, as he also played the same role on the show. In this thoroughly unbelievable piece, psychic stars invade the planet and The Doctor is a total idiot about the whole thing.
The Story of Martha by Dan Abnett is the story of what happened during the year that Martha wandered the Earth during the alternate present in which The Master took over the world. If you saw that episode, you already know how it ends, so as interesting as it sounds to get the other half of the story, you have to realize that it really doesn't matter as the entire timeline is undone.
Martha in the Mirror by Justin Richards, in keeping with it's rating of four whole stars has four holes in the plot that you could route corridors though. Here's a hint. If you're going to write a story in which a mirror is the core plot point, it might be a good idea to learn a bit about optics.
Sting of the Zygons by Stephen Cole is another four-star story that is apparently really a thought experiment in which a novel is written by throwing one dart at a timeline of Earth, one at a globe and then playing several rousing games of Boggle. If you like Plesiosaurs and Loch Ness... you still won't like this story.
The Feast of the Drowned by Stephen Cole earns another four stars on Amazon while simultaneously demonstrating that if someone bad happens to someone that is related to someone that one of the main characters knows but you've never known from other stories is someone you really don't care much about.
Wooden Heart by Martin Day gets another (you guessed it) four stars from Amazon while showing that if you want to write a science fiction story and a fantasy story, manage to cock up both and blend them together with a kindergartener's tub of paste, it won't be coherent, but it'll be published.
Ring of Steel by Stephen Cole earns two stars from Amazon, so you know it's something. In fact, it's something about petroleum and, umm, steel. I think there were aliens. I dunno, I kinda zoned out and started reading email.
Wetworld by Mark Michalowski is about octopuses and otters that, for some reason, exist on an alien planet with settlers. Stuff happens. Then the story ends.
Nightmare of Black Island by Mike Tucker is another 4.5 star earner, lending support to the belief that Doctor Who fans, in fact, use the following rating system:
5 stars - Decent to Excellent
4 stars - Remarkably poor to semi-decent
3 stars - Contains The Doctor
2 stars - Takes place somewhere in Space and/or Time
1 star - Actually a Star Wars novel
The Gemini Contagion by Jason Arnopp answers the question "what would happen if a stereotypical Marvel scientist with poor lab technique is combined with an ethical scientist from the DC universe and is transplanted into the future and decides to focus on transmitting language capabilities via alien cloning. Then, to everyone's shock, things go sideways.
Actually, despite the fact that the story itself is remarkably poor, it is shockingly well performed by Meera Syal. Sadly, Wikipedia doesn't list any other audio books she's done... but then, it doesn't list this one either. This should be adjusted, but it takes a very long time for bees to type.
The Resurrection Casket by Justin Richards earns 4.5 stars on Amazon and... is under-rated. This book deserves five stars. It is considerably better than many of the actual episodes. The characters are fun, the story is complex, the twists are unexpected almost every time.
See, the fundamental issue with these stories is that The Doctor is just not very smart in most of them. The reader (or listener (or bee)) should not guess where the story is going and what the solution will be before The Doctor does. A good Doctor Who story is effectively a science fiction mystery, and so needs to be good at both. There have to be enough clues within it that everything makes sense once you get to the end, but not so many that you get to the end early. Of all the stories reviewed here, this is the only one that gets that right. When you, as well, add the wonderful characters and the great reading performance by David Tennant, you get a CD that is worth running out to Half Price Books to pick up.
Sadly, they're all out.
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no subject
Date: 2013-04-09 03:05 am (UTC)Thank you for the reviews. :)
no subject
Date: 2013-04-09 10:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-04-10 02:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-04-09 03:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-04-09 10:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-04-09 10:00 pm (UTC)I borrowed it from a friend. I make no promises as to whether or not it holds up to a second listening.
The biggest impediment to listening to the audio adventures has been the price, and that price on Amazon does not surprise me one bit, though it might be more affordable directly through Big Finish Audio.
no subject
Date: 2013-04-09 10:11 pm (UTC)I think the deluge of audiobooks that landed at HPB were a different sort than the "audio adventures" discussed within fandom.
Big Finish has released some stories over at SoundCloud. Some of them are even complete. I don't have time to deal with ripping them out so I can listen to them in the car, but if you find a good one there, please let me know.
Good evening.
Date: 2013-04-13 07:02 pm (UTC)I meandered over to your journal via the 'nature's beauty' community, attracted by your bee pictures (really impressive!). Your journal looks most entertaining (it's always heartening to stumble across someone with a sense of humour...), so I thought I'd add you and introduce myself. I'd be very happy if you'd add me too, but please don't feel obliged! :-)
Best wishes to you,
Emy H.