Advice

[guppiecat]

0) There are some words that are not appropriate for use within an office environment. These words are often four letters long, and start with the letters F and D.
1) If you have trouble sleeping, do not decide to just get up and head into work with little sleep. It's best to still take the time to do stretches and exercises before you start your day. It ensures that you are fully awake.
2) If you choose to ignore (1), be sure to pay careful attention to what you're doing, especially if it is likely to be dangerous.
3) If you choose to ignore (2), and are pouring boiling water in a cup to make tea, and get distracted and spill on your hand, stop immediately. Do not try to correct... especially if you are low on sleep and tired from ignoring rule (1).
4) If you choose to ignore (3), and do over-correct, resulting in yet more boiling water on your hand, stop what you are doing immediately, and set the cup of water on the nearest flat surface. Do not try to set it on your desk, because you might be overly tired (1), not paying attention (2), and in severe pain (3). This may cause you to miss the desk, and drop the cup onto the floor.

Interruption: physics lesson.

When objects move, the forces that cause them to move must be balanced. Thus, if a ball strikes another ball, the first ball slows and the transferred force causes the second ball to start moving. Water molecules can be thought of as a bunch of little balls. A cup can be thought of as one big hollow ball with a hole in the top, containing the little balls. When a cup is dropped on the floor, the energy of cup falling must be conserved. Since it cannot easily transfer it to the floor (as the floor is much more massive), the energy goes back into the cup, resulting in a bounce of sorts. Of course, if the cup contains water, the energy is transferred to the water. Since the cup is only empty at the top, there is only one direction for the water to go. That would be "up".

5) If you choose to ignore (4), and do drop the cup on the floor, do not be bending over in the "pouring water into the cup" position, as you might get a face full of splashing boiling water.
6) If you choose to ignore (5), you may ignore also (0).
7) It is wise to know the location of the first aid kit in your office.
8) It is wise to keep the first aid kit well stocked with items such as aloe gel, antibiotic ointment, and eye drops.
9) If (8) has been ignored, it is good to know the nearest location of a drug store, as the convenience stores located on the first floor of some office buildings do not carry items such as aloe gel, antibiotic ointment, and eye drops.
10) If you are burned, apply the aloe first, then the antibiotics. It is messy, but it stops the pain first, and then allows you to heal. The other way around would block the pain-stopping ability of the aloe gel, requiring you to wash off the antibiotic ointment.
11) If you need to wash antibiotic ointment off of a burn, for the love of god, do not use hot water. Even if you're tired from ignoring (1), not paying attention (2), due to pain (3).

So... how has your day been so far?

Comments

[janetmiles.livejournal.com]

Um, significantly less physic(s)al, I think.

Ouch. Sympathy offered.